A Kitchen Mishap
by Chibi Legin
Summary: Sok is busy in the kitchen until Lolo comes over, therefore, all hell breaks loose. WARNING: Bloody content


A Kitchen Mishap

Chibi Legin

Rudra no Hihou/ Treasure of the Rudras is a property of Squaresoft and CROWD inc.

WARNING: Contains a violent death of a character. So if blood makes you sick, TURN BACK!

Sok was busy in the kitchen, cooking some food for when Surlent was to come back. He was also ironing his clothing and was butt naked as well. But it was a hot day anyways and Sok felt good being butt naked on hot days. As he was getting the meat prepaired and using the blender on the cake mix, he heard a doorbell ring.

"God dammit now what?" Sok grumbled to himself as he was getting ready to answer the door. As he opened the door, there stood Lolo, who was strangely enough selling Girl Scout cookies.

"Hi Sok, want some Girl Scout……." Right there, Lolo notices Sok's nudity. "Oh my god! AAAAAAAAAAAAACK!"

"Oh shit. I forgot to put clothing on. Hold on there." Sok screeches as he started to panic. When he was panicking, he stumbles onto the ironing board, the hot iron landed on his face and burned his face. "Oh noooooo!"

Lolo just stood there laughing his head off. "Man, for a tough guy, you sure are dumb."

"Shut up you little brat!" Sok screamed in pain as he was struggling his way to get to the stove. As he got to the stove, he slipped on some of the water and his eyes got gouged by the beaters that he forgot to unplug. "GACK! No, I can't see."

Lolo still continued to laugh his head off. This only made Sok even angrier. "Oh my god, wait until I tell Pipin about this."

"You little brat, I will kill you!" Sok yelled as he grabbed out his sword and blindly stumbled his way through the kitchen. As he was struggling, he accidently flips the knife board into the air, making the knives land on his back. "Noooooooo!"

Lolo was laughing so hard, that he started to wet his own pants. Sok started to crawl on the ground in agony, blindly hacking and slashing through the air. "You bloody bastard, you made me mess up, didn't you?"

As Sok was wielding his blade madly, the whole place caught fire and the fire landed on his body. "Yahhhhhh! Lolo, do something."

"Okay, okay." Lolo sighed. He casted the mantra 'Kingcoast' on the house and Sok, but little did he know that Sok was wearing fire elemental gear and was drowning in the water. His bloody body started to flap around, gasping for air.

"Are you okay Sok?" Lolo asked. Sok slowly tried to reach for Lolo's leg, but being that he cannot see, he misses and his face falls down in a pool of his own blood.

"You bloody bastard….." Sok muttered as his life was fleeting from his body. As Sok dropped dead, Pipin walks in and greets Pipin.

"Hi Lolo. How are things going for you?" Pipin asked.

Lolo smiled back and laughed. "Everything went fine, except that ass hole Sok killed himself with his own stupidity.

"Really?" Pipin wondered. "He's that dumb?"

"Yep, he sure is, unlike Surlent." Lolo smiled. "And you see this burnt meat? These were Sok's remains."

"Cool." Pipin said. "Now what are we going to do with him and this house?"

"Hey, I have some ideas!" Lolo exclaimed. Pipin and Lolo started to cut up the meat from Sok's burnt body and uses his intestinal lining as the skin for the sausages. Lolo started to put the meat into the intestinal lining and wraps it through a wiener making machine. Pipin uses a meat slicer on Sok's arms and legs, making perfect cuts of meat. He pulls out the bones and grinds the meat into burger patties. Now, there were bones and innards left.

"Wow, what are we to do with those bones and other innards?" Lolo asked.

"Just you watch!" Pipin started to gather up all the bones and started to ground them into fine powder. He adds the bone powder with the cake mix. As he got to Sok's skull however, Pipin cracks it open, revealing his brain to be the size of a baseball.

"Lolo, look at this."

As Lolo observes, he laughs. "That's his brain?"

"Yep, sad isn't it?"

"Man, no wonder he's so dumb."

"I know Lolo. Even my brain is bigger than his and I am a reptile."

So Pipin grinds Sok's skull up into fine powder and adds it to the cake mix. Then he squishes the brain around and starts to put it in some marinade. "Does this look like enough sweet breads to you?"

"Yeah, I think so." Lolo said, smiling. "Look, I am making kidney pies!"

"Cool."

So as every bit of Sok's body was used up for the food that the two little boys were making, another thought started to pop into their minds. "So, what shall we do with this place?"

"Let's clean and rebuild this dump." Lolo exclaimed. And so they did so, with a little help of magic, things started to get done a bit quicker.

"I can't wait until Surlent comes back."

So the day has come. Surlent came back from the moon and was re-united with Regin and Miemyl. It was the best damn day of his life. Nothing to worry about at all, just sitting down to a nice feast with his childhood friends. Surlent knocks at the door of the now re-built home. "Hello, anybody home?"

"Wait just a second." A voice shouts. "We're almost done."

"Lolo, is that you?"

"Yep. Me and Pipin live here now."

"Man, those boys are growing fast." Regin said.

"Ironic isn't it?" Miemyl retorts. "They are growing and you are becoming more like a little boy."

"Hey! I'm just as much as a man like every other guy." Regin whined.

"Okay, we are done preparing now." The door opened and Pipin was holding the pink cake that they made. "Isn't it pretty? We made it ourselves."

"That's good." Surlent smiled. "Let us come on in and eat, I feel hungry."

"Then come on in and join our feast." So Surlent, Regin and Miemyl all went in and sat themselves down at the table. The kitchen smelled of cooked meat and marinade sauces. Pipin started to hand out a plate of many hamburgers, sausages and even the brain and kidney pie while Lolo got out the napkins, plates, spoons and forks and laid them neatly on the table. "I hope you like our food we made."

So everyone started to dig into their meals, and started to eat. "How do you like the food?"

"It's good." Regin said.

"I love your cooking." Miemyl adds.

"You kids done well." Surlent said, as he was chewing his food. As they were digging into their food, a thought started to cross everyone's mind. "So, where's Sok?"

"He left us and is never coming back." Lolo spouted.

"Yeah, that rotten man." Pipin sighed.

"That is so like him." Surlent sighs, rolling his eyes. "What have I ever saw in him in the first place?"

"I know what you mean Surlent." Regin responds. "All he ever wants to do is kill something. Why can't he do anything else?"

"I know what you mean." Surlent said. "Good food guys."

"Thanks!" the two boys said in unison. "Would you three like to stay here a while?"

"Sure, why not." Miemyl said, smiling. "Come on guys, what do you say?"

"Sure, it's nice here." Regin and Surlent said. Everyone stayed for a while and enjoyed the children's food. And everyone lived happily ever after, except for Sok, whom was killed by his own stupidity.

Fin


End file.
